Frankie Joins the Band

Frankie was the last one to join the band, so she never made it into any of the comics. However, it’s a funny story, and worthy of a comic… quite a long comic, actually. Too long to get into four little frames, or even nine. So I’m going to script it out here, and maybe it will be a comic book someday… or a sitcom episode.
The scene is a rock club in Hollywood, CA. The band finishes its first set and is met with polite applause from the crowd. FRANKIE is seen standing and clapping enthusiastically. As KNUTE and RAY leave the stage, Dwayne is seen adjusting his drum kit. FRANKIE approaches him from the side.
FRANKIE: Wow, you blokes wail!
DWAYNE: (Startled) Huh? Oh, thanks.
FRANKIE: I’m Frankie. Can we talk during your break?
DWAYNE: Really? Uh, OK. I need to go to the bathroom first.
FRANKIE: Oh, yeah. Sorry. I’ll wait at my table, then. Over there.
Scene dissolve. FRANKIE sits at her table with a GIRLFRIEND.
GIRLFRIEND: So you met the drummer? He seems nice. Kind of shy, isn’t he?
FRANKIE: Yeah, he’s cute. He’s going to come over and chat, I hope.
GIRLFRIEND: Well then, I’ll go find something to do for a moment, shall I?
FRANKIE: You’re a mate! Ta.
KNUTE approaches the table as GIRLFRIEND gets up to leave.
KNUTE: Good evening, ladies. I couldn’t help overhearing your accents. You’re from out of town, aren’t you?
GIRLFRIEND: Yeah, San Diego. The zoo. (She smirks.)
KNUTE: Ooh! Wild ones! Ha ha!
GIRLFRIEND: Nah, haven’t had enough to drink yet to be considered wild.
KNUTE: Well, let me help you out with that!
GIRLFRIEND: Thanks, I was just on my way over to the bar.
KNUTE: Without an escort? I wouldn’t hear of it!
KNUTE and GIRLFRIEND walk to the bar. GIRLFRIEND looks over her shoulder and winks at FRANKIE, who mouths back to her the words, “Thank you!” DWAYNE steps up to her table, FRANKIE motions him to sit down, so he does.
FRANKIE: Good to see you again.
DWAYNE: I see you’ve met Knute.
FRANKIE: Not really. “Narrowly avoided” would be more to the point.
DWAYNE: You know, I gotta say I’m a little weirded out at the moment. It’s usually Knute who gets the girls. Why’d you want to talk to me?
FRANKIE: Why not?
DWAYNE: OK. I’m Dwayne. Oh – and I meant weirded out in a good way! Surprised, you know?
FRANKIE: It’s all right, Dwayne. I’m glad to meet you. You’re a really good drummer! Your band is brilliant!
DWAYNE: Oh, thanks. Hey, you’re from England, aren’t you? Our guitarist is from England.
FRANKIE: Yes I am. I’m from Essex. But no jokes about Essex girls.
DWAYNE: OK. No problem, since I don’t know any. What brings you to “the states”?
FRANKIE: Making a change. It’s the land of golden opportunity, isn’t it?
DWAYNE: I guess. We’re still waiting for our golden opportunity.
FRANKIE: It’ll come. You know, you three are outrageous, but you may be limiting yourselves. I mean, a three-man ensemble is fine if you’re going for Police or Stray Cats, or ZZ Top, but if you really want a proper New Wave sound, you need some electronic keyboard!
DWAYNE: That’s what I’ve been saying, but we don’t know anybody who’s not already in a band.
FRANKIE: You do now.
DWAYNE: Really? You play?
FRANKIE: Since I was five. Well, piano. I only started on synthesizer a year ago.
DWAYNE: Wow! This is so radical! But why aren’t you talking to Knute about this?
FRANKIE: He gives me a funny feeling. Like behind those cheap shades, his eyes are undressing me.
DWAYNE: So you have met Knute! (They both laugh.)
KNUTE and GIRLFRIEND return to the table.
KNUTE: Somebody’s talking about me!
DWAYNE: Knute, this is Frankie. She plays keyboards!
GIRLFRIEND: Sorry, I should have introduced you. Atrocious manners, me.
KNUTE: “Frankie”? Are you serious?
FRANKIE: Short for Francesca. Why? Is that funny?
KNUTE: We’re in Hollywood! “Frankie Goes to Hollywood”!
FRANKIE: Right. Only I’m not a band of gay guys. And what’s your real name?
KNUTE: Knute Fuzzbox is my real name.
FRANKIE: Ha! Pull the other one!
KNUTE: All right, “fuzzbox” comes from a type of distortion pedal for the electric guitar. But my parents actually named me “Knute”.
FRANKIE: Like the lizard?
KNUTE: No, like the football coach.
FRANKIE: Sorry, you just lost me.
RAY calls from the stage.
RAY: Oy! You spods gonna sit on your arses and chat up birds all night, or are you gonna come play our next set?
KNUTE: Keep your lace ruffles on, Prince Charming, we’re coming! My apologies, ladies, but it’s time for us to commit more musical mayhem!
GIRLFRIEND: Hey, why didn’t we get to meet your guitar player?
KNUTE: Nothing personal, but he probably wouldn’t be interested. He actually likes Frankie Goes to Hollywood. But not as much as he likes himself.
KNUTE heads up to the stage.
DWAYNE: Gotta go. Write down your phone number. I’ll set up an audition. Wow! I think that’s the first time I’ve asked a girl for her number!
DWAYNE dashes to the stage with a giddy grin.
FRANKIE: (To GIRLFRIEND) Cute!
GIRLFRIEND: Good luck with that lot!
END